From the Pastor |
I have only been a pastor for a little over 5 years now, but these past two days have been the most difficult for me. I have presided over MANY funerals since my appointment, but none was more difficult than the one today. Today we laid to rest a young, young man (19) who made the choice to die rather than to live with whatever was causing his pain and hopelessness.
It was heart-breaking. Not only for the family, but for myself as well. As a mother, my greatest dread is to have to bury one of my children and I cannot even imagine the pain his mother must be feeling now... especially to lose a child in these circumstances. I agonized over what to say, what to do that might bring an ounce of comfort to a family that is emotionally devastated. I prayed for God to guide me and to work through me to try and bring this family and his friends just a small amount of peace. As I was thinking about our weekly service this Sunday, I kept going back to our reading from Romans 14: 10-12: "You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written: “‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.’” So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God." I know that there will be many people who will judge this young man. Not only for the pain he has caused to those who love and care for him, but also some will judge him for this “unforgiveable” sin. A sin which he cannot repent from. I have to say that I have always struggled with ideas like that… that there are ANY unforgiveable sins. I am not God… I do not know the mind of God… I do not understand God’s thoughts or plans… so who am I to say that any sin is unforgiveable, even in death. I won’t mince words here. Suicide IS a sin! It is the taking of a life… needlessly… just like murder. However I do not believe that is the end of it for people who commit suicide. I have to say that this is not “doctrine”… this might not be “theology” backed by biblical scholars… what I am saying is simply what I have come to truly BELIEVE in my HEART! Scripture tells us that we will ALL, one day, stand before the Throne of Judgment. We will have to account for our words (Matthew 12:36) and our actions (Revelation 21:12). As Paul said: “So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.” (Romans 14: 12) And “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.” (2Corinthians 5:10) Jesus tells his disciples in John 14 that “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” And I firmly believe this to be true. I also believe it is more involved than restricting it to meaning in this life alone. In my heart, I believe that when we face the throne of judgment, it is Christ seated on that throne for judgment has been given to Christ (see John 5: 22, 27). There have been many very good men and women throughout history that have NOT been Christian, and my heart struggles with the idea that their lack of faith would automatically damn them to the fires of hell. I think of Gandhi in this. Gandhi was a great man. He worked, peaceably for good. He strove to make a real difference in the world, yet he was not Christian. He studied the Bible extensively and the writings of many religions, yet never converted. He believed Jesus to be a great teacher and did not reject him or his teachings in any way. He never felt he had the “experience” with Christ many Christians told him about and he was disheartened by the fact that many Christians DID NOT act very Christ-like. When we come before Christ on the throne… those who have accepted Jesus… who have lived in faith have already been saved, but I think that this is the final chance for others. There are still many who will turn away. Whether because of the evil, greed, anger and/or hatred that fill their hearts or because of the guilt that might rack their souls… some WILL turn away and be condemned for it. I believe others will truly repent. Fall to their knees and ask for forgiveness… and it will be granted. THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!
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Yeon Shin
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